Thus, I has a sad – and some MAJOR sugar cravings. This has been partially alleviated by Jells and the amazing EeBz. Because Jells buys EeBz these delicious Nabisco graham crackers and puts peanut butter on them, and I learned about this while trying to get a pneumonia-y E.B. to eat anything, anything at all. (Yep Jelly, I started craving them two days after you guys left and just re-upped on grahams and a whole new jar of peanut butter). And it’s brilliant – get the sweet crazies – slather peanut butter on a graham cracker and it fixes it.
Only I’m tired and stressed and I’m feeling like I really REALLY need my delicious cupcakes that I refuse to eat until my pants fit again. So I needed something more, something brilliant, something decadent – that I wouldn’t regret noshing on later, because I get pissed when I walk around for 30 minutes to only build a smidge of heart muscle and get 120 calories closer to fitting in my good jeans, and then I blow it because I need Taco Bueno STAT!! ~ Taco Bueno isn’t so bueno for buttoning the top
button on your Lucky Brands. It’s hard to remember that though when you’re sitting in front of the sign with all the pictures of
queso, and frijoles, and tortillas, and nachos and quesadillas and guacamole. You just sort of drool down the side of your car door, and gurgle out a delicious list of $25 worth of Tex-Mex magic. It’s only later, when you start to swell a little from the massive influx of sodium that you remember what you did. The smell of Taco Bueno is totally a fast-food roofie. But I digress…
In my sugar-deprivation-induced mania, it occurs to me that I have graham crackers and peanut butter. And I know that’s a good start. And then I find a banana, and slice that on top. And then I start thinking about how delicious Bananas Foster are and how it would be amazing if I had some caramel sauce, and then I remember – I HAVE HONEY. Count down to drizzles……………. NOW!!
I pile up on the couch with my masterpiece, and there is literally honey dripping down my arm and it’s GLORIOUS. I take my first bite and crumple into my new leather “thankfully-easy-clean-with-just-a-washcloth” couch cushions and sigh a mid-century-romance-movie sigh of sheer euphoria. It’s delicious – like a crunchy cookie cupcake outside-in bananas foster mated with the middle of a Reese’s Peanut Butter Cup. And I devour every last bite. And lick the plate. And drink an entire glass of milk.
It was heaven. And I didn’t feel guilty AT ALL. Because it was 250 calories – and worth every damn one. So I ate two. BAZINGA!!
And guess what?? I talked to my Momma two days later and she was all, “Yeah, I used to make that for you as a kid. Don’t you remember??”
But my tastebuds did!! And in what part of my brain was that bit of delectable trivia hiding?? I feel betrayed brain!! BETRAYED!! Never shall we be separated again my sweet memory!! I’ll stick post-its to myself, tattoo my inner arm, it will be the “Memento” of dessert devotion. Obsessive peanut butter love for life. And bananas. And grahams. And honey. Fo Sho.